"Hello, my name's Trouble. Have we met?"

Sloane.

I don't know what this girl is thinking most days.
She's a handful...to say the least! She’s always into something it seems. One afternoon, she was on the back porch and I walked by the door and caught a glimpse of her straddling what I soon figured out was a stream of pee running down the concrete. I secretly watched (and giggled) while she stood in this pose, with hands on hips, staring at the pee for a while before finally deciding to take her underwear off and hobble around the back porch completely naked, still with hands on hips, still in a legs-straddled position. She'd stop and scratch her head and stare into the back yard for a bit, then continue hobbling. And then stop again and look around and scratch her butt, all in the same pose mind you.
 
She then went over to the line of pee, drew a circle about an inch ahead of it with a piece of chalk, and sat in wait while the pee gradually made it to the circle.
Satisfied with her mission, she walked over to the back door, which is when she spotted me, to tell me that she peed. When I asked her why, she replied that she wanted to pee outside "like a puppy." I reminded her that we don't pee outside; we pee on the potty. She then explained to me, "Mamas pee on the potty." And then very matter of factly added, "But I don't." …Well, I'm glad we cleared that up.
Later in the evening, as I was getting everyone to bed--or rather, unsuccessfully getting everyone to bed since they all kept getting back out--I went into the front room to turn the light off again for the 3rd time when I saw the curtains move. Who popped out? It's Sloane, completely naked except for one blue sock. Standing in the front window. Naked!
Another day, she peed through her clothes while at Reid’s baseball game. In her defense, she HAD been telling me that she needed to go to the bathroom, but she kept playing with other kids, and so for that reason, and for multiple other reasons, I didn’t take her to the restroom. Well, she finally just decided to pee in the grass. So I changed her into some slightly-snug pants, which was all I had in the car and which she didn’t care for, but she kept them on. Not for long though. I turned around a little later to find her with just her shirt on, no panties or shorts. Standing on the roof of the minivan.
Hmm, what else? Well, she has pooped in the trash can.* Also in the grass in the back yard. She flushed a small cup down the toilet which necessitated a call to the plumber which is when Blair forgot that she (Blair) had put a pancake in the microwave to warm it up and left it running for about 15 minutes which no one noticed until I saw smoke in the kitchen and opened the microwave to find a black smoking pancake nearly about to catch fire (which I was recently told has become our plumber's favorite story to share). She also put a hand towel, 2 dress up princess shoes, a small ball, and a pair of panties in the toilet. All at one time. The panties were never recovered. And then today it was a pair of pajama shorts that we found in the toilet. Luckily, Reid pulled them out as soon as he saw Sloane flushing.
*Her response to this offense was a shrug of the shoulders and “I guess I just felt like pooping in the trash can.”